I have gotten very clear on something over the last few months. This perpetual search for balance is a crock.
As I watch strong, beautiful women in my life feel underwater, overwhelmed and just plain out of steam I conclude we have become victims of a movement that has us constantly seeking, yearning to have it all and look like we haven’t even broke a sweat to get it. Remember this bad commercial from the 80s –
Bringin’ Home The Bacon
That’s not how it works in reality. Reality is while many of us bring home the bacon –many nights instead of frying it up in a pan we stop at a local restaurant, get take-out and eat off paper plates. And as much as we want to make sure our great men “don’t forget” they are men….how ‘bout us remembering we are women – and the power we hold in this fact is priceless.
As women it is time to acknowledge and embrace the notion that sometimes we are up, and sometimes we are down. Sometimes it’s all working for us – and sometimes it is definitely not! And that’s ok. And that in acknowledging our vulnerability we are actually creating great strength.
The ocean is the representation of my perfect life – I believe. Its perfect balance is the ebb and flow of the tide – the pull of the moon in a rhythmic pattern that creates highs and lows. It isn’t still – it doesn’t remain in the middle – it moves in and out….rises up and down.
Its fluidity moving around objects standing in the way – not trying to knock them over, just slowly surrounding and enveloping, and then receding when the time is right.
I invite you to consider abandoning this notion of balance and appreciate the changing tides of your life.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Hooray for the extremes! I don’t WANT a balance. I want to jump in with both feet on things that matter most to me and discard the things that don’t. It isn’t always possible to go to these extremes, but I find I’m happiest when I can.
Today I wrote about “peanut-buttering” on the blog. This is a term engineers use when talking about allocating resources evenly instead of effectively. It applies in regular life, too. When you keep spreading it out so thin you eventually run out of peanut butter. And then you get sad/frustrated/overworked/exhausted from trying to continue to feed everyone when there’s nothing left.
Balance is overrated.
Love the ocean analogy – perfect! Yes, balance is quite the myth – along with the concept of being able to “multi-task” well!
Great post, thanks! And something I have been thinking about a lot lately. The “big” things I have accomplished have taken a big slice of the energy pie, but they are some of the most fulfilling. I may be spreading myself too thin in areas that matter to me, but not as much as my big passions.
Very thought-provoking.
Thanks for the check in ladies!
I love being being unbalanced @Betsy!
And YES @Smart Cookie … multi-tasking….incredibly ineffective!
@Angela – nice to see you here! I love the visual of the BIG slice of energy pie…..
All y’all enjoy your week!
Couldn’t agree more. So much in fact we wrote a book on it that was just released April 6th.
http://www.amazon.com/Balance-Crock-Sleep-Weak-Indispensable/dp/1583333703
This is definitely one of those weeks where the tide has nearly pulled me out to the ocean but after doing this for so long I now realize that it will equilibrate soon enough and I’ll get back in the groove. The tough part is….everyone gets what they need (work, family, plants, pets etc…) but I’m left depleted. Time to change that.
Starting…..now!
Leigh
Leigh, thanks for chiming in – some weeks it does seem there is an undercurrent moving us away from everything we ’should’ or ‘want’ to do. And yep, when the patio plants are looking perkier than I feel…it is time to change a few things….sorry little plants – you may not get your drink of water today!
Your book looks great – a manifesto- for all women I am sure!
Enjoy your day!
Amen, sister! I’m right there with ya. It’s one of my key tenets in “Peeling Mom Off the Ceiling”. In fact, here’s the article I wrote about it at Diva Toolbox! http://www.divatoolbox.com/self/health/2237-balance-is-overrated.html
Great article Leslie – and remind me to be one of the flailing ones in your class – one of the few times where my uncoordinated self could save me! Thanks for chiming in.
Debb, you are exactly right. I hadn’t thought of the ocean, but my water analogy has always been a “swimming upstream hard against the current” time (day, week, month) and there’s nothing you can do to change it; it will ease in its own rhythm. Sometimes there’s flow with you, sometimes there’s flow against you. You said it well.
Jamie that rocks – thank you for being here….how are you? I miss you terribly. I see your beautiful pictures and see those lovely seals following KJ and I think what a beautiful life you have created! Best to you and The Captain – hope to see you soon. May be out on the lake Sunday – if so – will let you know!
Debb- Loved this post so much I picked it as my “favorite blog post of the week.” Check it out: http://myyearwithoutspending.blogspot.com/2010/06/food-waste-friday-plus-favorite-blog.html
Thanks again- I think I’ve shifted my thinking a bit this week after reading Betsy’s peanut-buttering post and this one of yours.
WOW! I am humbled – I have a sense of how many blogs you read each week – this makes me feel so great. Sometimes when you are writing these posts you feel like you are living in a vacuum – you just made up for all the times I check to see if the post is really live!
Have a great weekend.